Descartes:
In order to get to the other side
Plato:
For its own sake. It will find the other half of the Truth on the other side of the road.
Aristotle:
It’s within ITS nature to cross roads
Karl Marx:
It was historically inevitable
Captain Kirk:
To get where no other chicken had been before
Martin Luther King Jr.:
Because the brother chicken had a dream, where all chicken brotherhood is free to cross the road without having to justify its acts.
Moses:
And God talked to the chicken and said: “Croth the road”. And the chicken crossed and and HE saw this was good.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did never cross the road, let me repet that, the chicken did NEVER cross that road.
Sigmund Freud:
The fact itself that you’re worried about why the chicken crossed the road, reveals already your strong sense of sexual insecurity. You might have homosexual inclinations. Here, snort some blow...
Bill Gates:
Actually we have just achieved new levels of excellence with our new program “OfficeChicken2003”. Not only will you be able to cross the road, you will also be able to incubate your eggs, file important documents, have acces to your eggs off- and on-line ...
Bhuda:
To question such a thing, is to reneague of your very own chicken nature
The Scientologist Church:
The reason lies within you, yet remains unknown to you. Through the reasonable contribution of $2000, + the lease of a lie detector; we will proceed with a psichological test, that will allow us to help you find this truth.
Bill Clinton:
I have not had any form of interpersonal relationship with that chicken.
Albert Einstein:
The fact is: we don’t know if the chicken actually crosses the road or if it’s the road that moves under the apparent motion of the chicken. It’s ll relative to the reference and its origin...
Zen:
The chiclen might very well have crossed the road in vain. Only the master knows the sound of his own shadow behind the wall
Joseph Stalin:
That chicken needs to be executed inmediately. And the witnesses in the scene need to be executed and 10 more people, randomly chosen; for not having done anything to prevent this subversive act from happening.... make it 20.
George W. Bush:
The fact itself that this chicken has crossed the road with all impunity, despite of the UN resolutions against it, represents the ultimate attack to democracy, justice and liberty world wide.
This proves, beyond any doubt (wait, I can’t read that fast....) As I said, this proves, beyond any doubt that we should have bombarded this road 10 years ago.
In a humanitarian effort to preserve the world peace and in order to avoid any future attacks of terrorism against the values we stand for
The governement of the United States of America has taken the decision to deploy 17 air-craft carriers, 46 destroyers and 154 battle ships, with the support on land of 243.000 marines an the support in the air of 47 stealth bombarders and 150 F-18’s
which mission will be, in the name of Liberty and Democracy, to eliminate all sights of chicken life in all henhouses in a perimeter of 5.000 miles.
After which, we will use state-of-the-art technology to aim sattelite-guided missiles at anything that might resemble a henhouse from a 100 miles away. Our objective will be to reduce all henhouses to ashes, in that reduced area. This chicken has unattended our multiple and amiccable petitions to surrender all eggs of mass destruction. It shall now see the power of our arrogance. We only regret the chicken has chosen to ignore all our efforts to keep us from come kick his ass. We’re coming, chicken.
Pause... (“shit was I supposed to read that out loud?”)
We have also decided to help all forms of life related to that road. Our government will reconstruct one and all henhouses according to all our security standards; designating a visionary cock, chosen democratly by the US ambassador of the region.
In order to achieve a satisfactory ACHIEVEMENT of this reconstruction process, we will only claim the absolute control of all the mineral and agricultural production of the surrounding region of this road for a short period of time of no longer than 50 years. We will do this knowing that the population of this surroundings will find great benefit in a preferent fare on a small but significant percentage of the prodution. In exchange for our magnanimous generosity we expect TOTAL and COMPLETE submission, err COOPERATION, that is; in this effort to construct this new ROAD OF JUSTICE, PEACE and FREEDOM.
My fellow chicken haters can rest assure that a chicken shall never AGAIN dare to cross a road, for the simple reason that there will not be roads of mass destruction and the chicken shall not have legs.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Even of more relevance is the following answer:
Why did Uncle Fuknut cross the road?
Because his dick got stuck in the chicken
In order to get to the other side
Plato:
For its own sake. It will find the other half of the Truth on the other side of the road.
Aristotle:
It’s within ITS nature to cross roads
Karl Marx:
It was historically inevitable
Captain Kirk:
To get where no other chicken had been before
Martin Luther King Jr.:
Because the brother chicken had a dream, where all chicken brotherhood is free to cross the road without having to justify its acts.
Moses:
And God talked to the chicken and said: “Croth the road”. And the chicken crossed and and HE saw this was good.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did never cross the road, let me repet that, the chicken did NEVER cross that road.
Sigmund Freud:
The fact itself that you’re worried about why the chicken crossed the road, reveals already your strong sense of sexual insecurity. You might have homosexual inclinations. Here, snort some blow...
Bill Gates:
Actually we have just achieved new levels of excellence with our new program “OfficeChicken2003”. Not only will you be able to cross the road, you will also be able to incubate your eggs, file important documents, have acces to your eggs off- and on-line ...
Bhuda:
To question such a thing, is to reneague of your very own chicken nature
The Scientologist Church:
The reason lies within you, yet remains unknown to you. Through the reasonable contribution of $2000, + the lease of a lie detector; we will proceed with a psichological test, that will allow us to help you find this truth.
Bill Clinton:
I have not had any form of interpersonal relationship with that chicken.
Albert Einstein:
The fact is: we don’t know if the chicken actually crosses the road or if it’s the road that moves under the apparent motion of the chicken. It’s ll relative to the reference and its origin...
Zen:
The chiclen might very well have crossed the road in vain. Only the master knows the sound of his own shadow behind the wall
Joseph Stalin:
That chicken needs to be executed inmediately. And the witnesses in the scene need to be executed and 10 more people, randomly chosen; for not having done anything to prevent this subversive act from happening.... make it 20.
George W. Bush:
The fact itself that this chicken has crossed the road with all impunity, despite of the UN resolutions against it, represents the ultimate attack to democracy, justice and liberty world wide.
This proves, beyond any doubt (wait, I can’t read that fast....) As I said, this proves, beyond any doubt that we should have bombarded this road 10 years ago.
In a humanitarian effort to preserve the world peace and in order to avoid any future attacks of terrorism against the values we stand for
The governement of the United States of America has taken the decision to deploy 17 air-craft carriers, 46 destroyers and 154 battle ships, with the support on land of 243.000 marines an the support in the air of 47 stealth bombarders and 150 F-18’s
which mission will be, in the name of Liberty and Democracy, to eliminate all sights of chicken life in all henhouses in a perimeter of 5.000 miles.
After which, we will use state-of-the-art technology to aim sattelite-guided missiles at anything that might resemble a henhouse from a 100 miles away. Our objective will be to reduce all henhouses to ashes, in that reduced area. This chicken has unattended our multiple and amiccable petitions to surrender all eggs of mass destruction. It shall now see the power of our arrogance. We only regret the chicken has chosen to ignore all our efforts to keep us from come kick his ass. We’re coming, chicken.
Pause... (“shit was I supposed to read that out loud?”)
We have also decided to help all forms of life related to that road. Our government will reconstruct one and all henhouses according to all our security standards; designating a visionary cock, chosen democratly by the US ambassador of the region.
In order to achieve a satisfactory ACHIEVEMENT of this reconstruction process, we will only claim the absolute control of all the mineral and agricultural production of the surrounding region of this road for a short period of time of no longer than 50 years. We will do this knowing that the population of this surroundings will find great benefit in a preferent fare on a small but significant percentage of the prodution. In exchange for our magnanimous generosity we expect TOTAL and COMPLETE submission, err COOPERATION, that is; in this effort to construct this new ROAD OF JUSTICE, PEACE and FREEDOM.
My fellow chicken haters can rest assure that a chicken shall never AGAIN dare to cross a road, for the simple reason that there will not be roads of mass destruction and the chicken shall not have legs.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Even of more relevance is the following answer:
Why did Uncle Fuknut cross the road?
Because his dick got stuck in the chicken
